


Ephemeral

by sortastraightsus



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Action, Action & Romance, Action/Adventure, Blood and Gore, Dark Past, Eren and her quite literally are opposites but the same, F/M, Happy Ending, Levi is a father figure, Long, Past Violence, Slow Burn, Strong Female Characters, Titans, What if?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:54:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29268312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sortastraightsus/pseuds/sortastraightsus
Summary: Joining the Cadet Corps 9 months before graduation is unheard of- especially if the person has no experience with ODM gear- but for Y/N it’s a life changing offer she can’t decline. After waking up in the Underground with no memories and spending three months as a mafia unit leader, she takes the opportunity to explore outside of the walls with the Survey Corps to be her saving grace. Her focus is regaining her memories and redefining her purpose- but the green eyed boy with an open book of emotions seems to have other plans for her and her closed book of desires.first person POVSEASON 3 SPOILERS
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Annie Leonhart, Eren Yeager & 104th Training Corps, Eren Yeager & Original Character(s), Eren Yeager & Original Female Character(s), Eren Yeager & Reader, Eren Yeager/Original Character(s), Eren Yeager/Original Female Character(s), Eren Yeager/Reader, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Reader, Levi Ackerman & Reader, Levi Ackerman/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	Ephemeral

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! This is my first fan fiction and I am far from well versed on how this works, but I have a story I want to share and I'm trying to improve my writing. Please give constructive criticism and point out any mistakes I might have made. 
> 
> This story runs parallel to the AOT plotline... until .. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
> There will be romance. A lot of it (I'm a sappy romantic), but there will also be a lot of fighting and angst. So brace yourself: this is going to be far from an easy ride.

The wind is soft against my tied up hair, gently brushing it against my hollow, bruised up cheeks. It’s like the sky is mocking me- its clearness laughing at my distraught state. _I’ll kill all of Marley. I’ll kill them all._

The expansive length of sand in front of me and the loud crashes of the waves behind me do little to calm the raging fire I feel in the pit of my stomach, but I won’t let the rage and fear brewing within me show on my face. I won’t let the Marleyan soldiers lazily walking behind me, injections in hand, gain the satisfaction of watching my true emotions in my last moments. 

So I simply stare straight ahead, letting a small smile form on my face, and relish the memories I shared with the fellow 13 year old boy sitting besides me. I can feel his gaze on me, I can tell he fears not even for himself, but simply for me. I can tell that he’s struggling against the bindings wrapping him as quietly as possible, using the immense strength that warrior training provides. He and I both know, however, that neither I, nor him, even with all of the training we have received, are capable of surviving this. So, I simply smile at him, watching as the tears rush down his cheeks. 

We don’t say a word, but he knows that I am far from simply accepting defeat. Even as the bastard Marley soldier injects the liquid into my neck, I know that he and all other damned Marleyans will face their fate, with me or without. So as I feel the kick across my back shoving me down to the hot sand, I close my eyes, relief from the tension filling my body as I whisper: “For Eldia, there will only be _freedom_.”

\---------

I’m going to get _harassed_ with questions by these children oh my god. There are several dozen standing in an orderly fashion on the plain grass field, all with eyes bulged and faces focused on me. The liveliness of their bodies and the curiosity in their eyes makes me feel a twinge of envy, leaving me wondering if I too was like this before I woke up three months ago with no memories of my past and no knowledge of myself. 

Commander Sadies yells, causing me to scrunch my nose from annoyance. “THIS IS (Y/N). SHE IS JOINING YOU ALL IN THE SOUTHERN DIVISION OF THE 104TH TRAINING CORPS.”  
  


The murmurs and gossip spiked, very much filled with confusion, and a few filled with anger. It isn’t a surprise that anger would be present. With only 9 months left before their graduation, it only makes sense to be frustrated by the entrance of a newbie. _Though the only new thing I need to do is learn how to use those flying contraptions._

Commander Sadies’ following “SILENCE” only leaves me wanting to curl up in a ball- the noise being too much for my senses, but I keep a flat face. Flat face, emotionless face, pity face, innocence face, happy face, crying face. Any face you name and I’ll be able to pull it off- I should have become an actress if we are being honest, but who am I to decline Smith’s offer?

After a basic roll call, conducted with me still awkwardly standing in the front, Sadies yells for us to run 10 rounds around the training field. I decide to simply jog alongside the middle of the pack to get a feel of how well or how badly this group’s stamina and physical capabilities are, but before I can even start to chase after them, Sadies holds me back. 

He grabs my arm with a tight grip, leans into my ear and with a menacing whisper laced with spite, “every person you don’t beat is another thirty minutes I take from your sleep tonight, miss Commander Smith’s recommendation. Don’t prove that man wrong.”

Fury is a word I like to use to describe the flames of anger that start at the back of my throat and spread through my lungs. It’s the emotion I struggle to hide the most, but at this moment I don’t even hesitate to consider the repercussions of showing it full force through my eyes to his. I can see him get slightly taken aback, but with a quick swing of my arm from his grasp, I’m already off to chasing after the others. 

Running. If there was one thing that organizing a mafia unit in the Undergound of Paradis taught me, it’s the art of fast, endless running. 

Half way through the first lap, I’m already halfway to the front of the group. Starting the second, I’ve already counted off all but 7 of the members that I’ve passed. By the third lap, I’ve passed the group consisting of all but the top three. By the fourth I’m in the middle of place one and place two. By the fifth lap, I’m casually keeping pace with rank one- a blonde, short but muscular build female with as menacing a glare as can be. Watching her from a mere three feet behind lets me see that she and I are fairly similar. She’s careful and analytical, alert and suspicious, and gifted in hiding her emotions. Perhaps not as gifted as I am, but most definitely gifted enough. 

  
  


By the 8th lap, I can tell that me tailing her has worn her down. When an individual is used to being at the front of a pack, they set their own pace and standard with confidence, but when they feel that position being threatened, they’ll start making mistakes. By tailing her at a comfortable speed with the clear intention of only passing her near the end of the run, I’ve set myself as a predator and her as prey. She starts to make mistakes by running at a faster pace than usual, stressing out more about her surroundings, looking back more than looking forward, so on and so forth. It’s why I race long distances this way. The Blonde is tired, but I'm simply following her pace, ready to pounce when there is only enough distance left for a dead sprint. 

She however, has probably assumed I’d start a dead sprint at the tenth lap, if not midway through it, but that distance is a little too short to actually pick up to my fastest speed. As her and I approach the 9th lap mark, I look carefully for Commander Sadies. When I catch his irritated, incredulous eyes that are beyond angered by my edging of the current first place runner, I chuckle with a smirk. His anger fuels behind his eyes. I wink at him right before the start of the ninth lap and I begin my dead sprint. The look on his face as I my feet pound past him was one I’ll be smirking about for months to come. _It’s what you get for questioning Commander Smith’s decisions._

Sprinting with full speed is something I will never get sick of, in fact, it’s what I turn to at every instance of distress and pain that I experience in life... Not that I remember much more than the past few months. The wind pulls my hair back, clearing it from my face and making it feel as if I’m flying. I let the full blown smile grace my lips as I start to lap people. The blonde and I had lapped a few, but the looks on the numerous individuals I pass is something I can’t help but use to fuel my ego. A particular set of grey-ish, green eyes, however, filled with confusion, anger, disbelief, and admiration all at once, catches my attention. He looks like a feisty one. 

By the time I reach the 10th and final lap, however, my burning legs have finally loosened up. This allows me to stretch further through each stride, gradually quickening my pace. I don’t even look for the Commander or anyone else for that matter as I sprint through, instead opting to enjoy my time running while it lasts. When I reach the finish, I slow to a jog and take a deep breath. The sharp cold enters my lungs, but the warmth of my muscles take it with gratitude. It’s only a minute before the blonde crosses the finish line herself, out of breath and obviously tired. I expect to see irritation in her eyes when she meets mine, but I find wide, curious and slightly terrified eyes instead. I gently smile at her, offering a hand to introduce myself. 

She seems hesitant, starting to play with a metal ring on her finger before deciding to place her palm within my own. “Y/N,” I say. 

She responds back with “Annie Leonhart, nice to meet you.” I feel a sudden twinge in my heart, almost like a sense of painful longing. _Annie Leonhart. I need to write it down._

Soon, the rest of the pack follows behind, heaving with heavy breaths. Third is a tall, black haired girl with a well toned body. Fourth and Fifth are two tall guys, one blonde and one brown haired. The rest pass by like a blur. The greyish-green eyed boy with brown hair, however, catches my eyes as he glowers at me. Must not like the fact that the newbie beat everyone- but he isn’t the only one. Through their labored breaths, they all watch me with large and shocked eyes. 

Annie and I simply stand side by side as we re-group to begin our next rep of stretches and workouts. Neither of us say a word, enjoying the comfortable silence. Commander Sadies starts his yelling again. “WE WILL NOW BE DOING HAND TO HAND COMBAT…” he smirks and stares me dead in the eyes, _great._ “ANNIE AND Y/N, YOU TWO PAIR UP, EVERYONE ELSE, FIND SOMEONE TO PRACTICE WITH.” 

Annie simply sighs, boredom written all over her face. She probably is one of the best hand to hand fighters here, considering Sadies decision to pair us up, _but she still won’t be a match for me._

“Can we just fake it?” I’m slightly shocked when I hear her say it, but I guess she sees as little purpose as I do regarding training in hand to hand combat. It has no use when fighting titans and the enemies outside the wall, but my skill in it is something I innately had and used in the underground. 

“Fine by me, I respond.” So we lightly spar, casually practicing dodging and punching. Neither of us use proper form, but I can tell that if she were to try, she would be far from an easy opponent. 15 minutes into the training, Sadies is breathing down on our necks. I know his next words before he even says them, but what I’m not expecting is the quiet voice he uses to say them. 

“If you don’t attempt to beat each other to pulp within the next 49 seconds, I will force you to run till you throw up and I’ll make sure you won’t be getting dinner tonight.” The threat is a feeble one as I am very much aware that it would take more than a day's worth of running to really put a dent on me, but it’s the fear within Annie’s eyes that makes me take action. 

I get into a proper stance and I immediately feel the gazes of all those around me. Annie however, is the one who looks most shocked. I watch as she gets back into a familiar stance, one that mirrors my own. _How? No one I have met has used this stance._ She looks at me, terror filling her eyes as I loosen my muscles to a variation of my initial stance, one that’s quicker and used for more advanced fights. 

While my eyes are locked on hers, my senses are far from centered only at her. I can feel and hear each of their breaths around me, the rustle of the leaves, and the way some shift the weight on their feet. I can feel each of their eyes, the rage they are emitting, the shock they are emitting, and the curiosity filling the air as they try to take in the emotion on Annie and I’s face. 

So, I lunge, pushing my body weight through my right arm, directly angling for her face. There’s no hesitation in the movement, so she ducks and aims to throw off my balance with a swing of her leg. I, however, anticipated the move, knowing very well that I would do _exactly_ what she did had I been approached with a similar lunge. I lightly jump over her while leaning my body forward, causing her legs to swing across empty air before using my outstretched hand to break my fall on the other side of her body. I use that same force to propel me back, and we are left with her sprawled on the floor and me sitting on her back, arms pressing down her legs and my legs pressing down her arms. 

The air is tense, filled with fear and shock with a hint of admiration. What I don’t expect to feel though, is a sense of sadness. Beneath me and from two tall boys to my far right, the sadness, abandonment, and shock they are exuding is easily distinguishable. I get up off of her, offering my hand, but when she looks up from the ground, tears stain her cheeks. A shock of pain jolts through me, my heart seeming to ache at the sight of her tears. My body reacts on its own, kneeling before her and wiping away the tears, “I’m sorry, did I hurt you?” This only seems to make her tears flow faster, but before I can even attempt to make her feel better, she’s up, and jogging over to what I assume is the dining room.

Guilt settles within me, knowing very well that she was far from the type to get so upset over losing in hand combat. _What did I do.. Why do I feel so bad? I’ve beat up people I’ve known for far more time to almost unrecoverable states and felt nothing. Why?_

My thoughts are broken by Commander Sadies’ shouts, telling everyone to get back to practice. I look at him from my position on the ground and I can see his eyes filled with what I assume to be sympathy and a hint of disbelief. He assigns me to a group of two others, a female named Hannah and a male named Franz. My body moves on its own as my mind is still stuck on the image of Annie’s face, desperately grasping on to the lingering emotions the image caused to course through me. _I miss caring for people._ I better write that down in my notebook as well. 

Training with them is easy, and the rest of the physical exercise for the day passes by like a blur. It’s nearing sunset when He regroups us and shouts “GET YOUR ODM GEAR, WE ARE GOING TO DO SEVERAL EXERCISES ON FLIPPING AND SHORTER WIRE RELEASE TECHNIQUES.” 

Everyone quickly runs to shed nearby, but without ODM gear of my own, I stand in place and wait for his instructions. He silently motions me towards a large metal structure. It has Three metal poles reaching the floor and a cross bow type design at the top aiming towards the sky. Attached to it are two sturdy but thin metal lines. He asks in a surprisingly normal voice, “ever used ODM gear before?” 

I simply shake my head, knowing very well that this is going to be the one thing that will hold me back from success. I don’t learn things quickly. I need hours upon hours of practice before I can gain the confidence to do certain things. Many in the underground would deny that- saying that there is no way that a girl of 14 would have had the training to do such attacks- but the way a knife felt comfortable and far from foreign in my hands when I held it, and the way I struggled so much with a simple tasks like picking a lock, is enough for _me_ to know that _my past_ is far from innocent and very much filled with hours of training. 

So when Sadies hands me the belt and allows me to harness it around myself, I can’t help but feel my palms sweat. The others have geared up by now and are heading over with the clunky metal strapped around them. I let out a small huff of breath before walking towards the center of the metal structure. 

“Eren, pull her up.” Commander Sadies’ words cause the greyish-green eyed boy with the rapidly changing emotional gaze and a presence of sheer determination to lightly jog to stand behind me. He quickly attaches the two thin metal lines to my belt as he whispers, “just keep your back straight and don’t look down.” I look back at him slightly shocked as he holds the handle he’ll use to roll me up and watch as he nods at me with a determined gaze. 

_Even he believes in me. I can’t screw this up._

Sadies calls for Eren to raise the wires and I watch as the wires pull me up from above, gently lifting me off my heels and letting the ground leave from under my feet. My gaze is slightly tilted up as I analyze the way the metal pulls me up. I’m only in the air for seconds before I feel my body tilt back and watch as the rock hard floor rapidly approaches my face. _Fuck._

**Author's Note:**

> welp- how did you like it?  
> First portion have you shook? Confused as to why I am focusing on Annie? I think it is kind of obvious... but let me know! 
> 
> Comments are very much appreciated, i'll do my best to update once a week! :D


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